The other day I happened to be arguing with myself, something that actually happens rather often. Finding myself at a argumentative standstill, I told myself that it was stupid to be arguing because both sides of the argument were being given by myself.
To which my brain promptly replied "No, they are different people. The different choices that you present represent different aspects of yourself. Choosing one way or the other will change the course of your life, thereby making you a different person depending on what you choose."
Something is definitely wrong with my sanity, if I can't even agree with myself that I am in fact, the same person.
Allons-y!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Free tuition, or the Lord's tuition?
Yesterday I got a letter from this place.
For those of you who don't know, this is my second choice for college (the first being BYU FINGERS CROSSED!!!). I knew that I had already been accepted there, so I was surprised to get more mail from them. I opened it and looked like this
Except less stripey. I GOT A FOUR YEAR FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so happy! Even though it is my second choice, the scholarship offer is very tempting.
And then this morning, I read this article.
http://www.ksl.com/?sid=18625578§ion=featured-story
It's an article, saying that the former VP of SUU has just been reinstated after pleading guilty to patronizing a prostitute.
Now, I know people can change, and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but let's just say that I am feeling less excited about going there.
Hey, BYU? Want to give me any news?
Allons-y!
For those of you who don't know, this is my second choice for college (the first being BYU FINGERS CROSSED!!!). I knew that I had already been accepted there, so I was surprised to get more mail from them. I opened it and looked like this
Except less stripey. I GOT A FOUR YEAR FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so happy! Even though it is my second choice, the scholarship offer is very tempting.
And then this morning, I read this article.
http://www.ksl.com/?sid=18625578§ion=featured-story
It's an article, saying that the former VP of SUU has just been reinstated after pleading guilty to patronizing a prostitute.
Now, I know people can change, and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but let's just say that I am feeling less excited about going there.
Hey, BYU? Want to give me any news?
Allons-y!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Things that I wish I could do #1
I wish I could sing like Bernadette Peters. My life would be complete.
For those of you who don't know who Bernadette Peters is, I am so sorry. A prominent Broadway star, she's famous for roles such as the Witch in Into the Woods, Mama Rose in Gypsy, and Dot/Marie in Sundays in the Park with George.
Let me give you an idea of why I would like to sing like her. The following link is Bernadette Peters singing the famous song "Anything you can do" from Annie get your gun. It shows different aspects of her voice, from the loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong note (almost 20 whole seconds!!) to the sky high notes! Although I'm not a huge fan of the faked accent, it still sounds amazing.
Lol. Her indignant "I'm a girl!"
This woman has never ending air, and a voice that sounds good in all dynamics. Who wouldn't want that?
Allons-y!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Homecoming
Death
Is just like
Birth
They both
There are
new faces.
Old friends.
And that one person that you
can't seem to lose.
There is sorrow
but why
the world is changing
and you change right
out
of it.
Either way there is someone
to greet you
with a smile
with a kiss
to hold you in
their arms and
whisper
welcome home
Is just like
Birth
They both
are just a change in scenery.
There are
new faces.
Old friends.
And that one person that you
can't seem to lose.
There is sorrow
but why
the world is changing
and you change right
out
of it.
Either way there is someone
to greet you
with a smile
with a kiss
to hold you in
their arms and
whisper
welcome home
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Create: to evolve from one's own thought
As human beings and children of God, we have abilities that are unique to us. No other species on the planet has the mental capacity that we have. Sure, octopi can open jars and chimps can communicate through squeals, but no beings have the ability to write music. To build an airplane. To organize books by last name. Even do something as simple as say "I love you". No other species has even the shadow of your abilities.
This is a video of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (squee) talking about the miracle of creation.
I love this video. Lately, I have been listening to the soundtrack of Children of Eden, the musical that Mountain View is preforming this year. By far one of my favorite songs is Spark of Creation, which Eve sings before she is tempted to eat the fruit. ( You can listen to it here if you haven't heard it.)
I love this song because Eve describes the restless energy of inspiration. I can just picture her running around frantically while she sings this song, trying to do everything at once.
Sadly, spending most of my day with teenagers every day, i hardly ever see the evidence of the spark in my day to day life. Adolescence seems to come with a lack of interest in the world, and a desire to sit in front of the television. Don't think I am blaming my fellow teenagers! I have been a victim of this as well. But I just find it so sad.
Still, do you feel better after watching the T.V. for an hour, or spending an hour choreographing a dance? Sewing a blanket? Writing a poem? Even just spending an hour observing nature can be so much more beneficial.
That's really what we are here for. Allons-y!
This is a video of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (squee) talking about the miracle of creation.
I love this video. Lately, I have been listening to the soundtrack of Children of Eden, the musical that Mountain View is preforming this year. By far one of my favorite songs is Spark of Creation, which Eve sings before she is tempted to eat the fruit. ( You can listen to it here if you haven't heard it.)
I love this song because Eve describes the restless energy of inspiration. I can just picture her running around frantically while she sings this song, trying to do everything at once.
Sadly, spending most of my day with teenagers every day, i hardly ever see the evidence of the spark in my day to day life. Adolescence seems to come with a lack of interest in the world, and a desire to sit in front of the television. Don't think I am blaming my fellow teenagers! I have been a victim of this as well. But I just find it so sad.
Still, do you feel better after watching the T.V. for an hour, or spending an hour choreographing a dance? Sewing a blanket? Writing a poem? Even just spending an hour observing nature can be so much more beneficial.
"We think all we want is a lifetime of leisure
Each perfect day the same
Endless vacation
Well that's alright if you're a kind crustacean
But when you're born with an imagination
Sooner or later you're feeling the fire get higher and higher
The spark of creation!"
Each perfect day the same
Endless vacation
Well that's alright if you're a kind crustacean
But when you're born with an imagination
Sooner or later you're feeling the fire get higher and higher
The spark of creation!"
That's really what we are here for. Allons-y!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Bits and pieces
Today I decided to share with you five random pictures from my phone. I didn't decide these before hand, but I will tell you how they all make up my life.
Photo number one is a blurry picture from a Josh Groban concert. I promise he is down there, you just can't see him. :) it also exemplifies the extent of my photo skills.
Photo two is of me. Making a face. Which is pretty much the story of my life.
Photo three is a background that I have for my phone. I love space, and I hope to be able to travel there someday. Whether or not it will be with the Doctor, I don't know...
This is a tower I made out of all the Duplos that we own. It was awesome. Sadly, shorty after this picture was taken, my niece joyously knocked the tower over.
Finally, (and ironically) the final picture is of my dream car, which sits in front of one of my favorite stores, the British import market. Truly, that does sum me up.
Allons-y!
Photo number one is a blurry picture from a Josh Groban concert. I promise he is down there, you just can't see him. :) it also exemplifies the extent of my photo skills.
Photo two is of me. Making a face. Which is pretty much the story of my life.
Photo three is a background that I have for my phone. I love space, and I hope to be able to travel there someday. Whether or not it will be with the Doctor, I don't know...
This is a tower I made out of all the Duplos that we own. It was awesome. Sadly, shorty after this picture was taken, my niece joyously knocked the tower over.
Finally, (and ironically) the final picture is of my dream car, which sits in front of one of my favorite stores, the British import market. Truly, that does sum me up.
Allons-y!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
I realize that it has been a while...
I was doing so good for a time. And then came tennis. And school. And Doctor Who came back. It's not that I don't love you guys, but come on.... It's Doctor Who.
But now, I will have time to write on my blog again! (I promise you it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the series of finale of Doctor Who aired last night AND THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER SERIES UNTIL NEXT FALL!!!) I'm chill.
I've realized lately that I have had some crazy plans in my life. Part of it is due to my friends (Remember the Picture sale, Breanna?), but I must take credit for some of it (such as singing Happy Ending in our stake talent show. yeah, didn't actually go so well.)
My current plan, however, is possibly bigger than any other plan I have had before.
I'm going to reorganize Desert Industries.
At this point, that is as much of the plan as I have. I'll tell you when I have more ;)
Allons-y!
But now, I will have time to write on my blog again! (I promise you it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the series of finale of Doctor Who aired last night AND THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER SERIES UNTIL NEXT FALL!!!) I'm chill.
I've realized lately that I have had some crazy plans in my life. Part of it is due to my friends (Remember the Picture sale, Breanna?), but I must take credit for some of it (such as singing Happy Ending in our stake talent show. yeah, didn't actually go so well.)
My current plan, however, is possibly bigger than any other plan I have had before.
I'm going to reorganize Desert Industries.
At this point, that is as much of the plan as I have. I'll tell you when I have more ;)
Allons-y!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Heaven on Earth
Sorry that nothing has been posted this week, but I was at Girl's Camp. And against my best efforts, I had a good time.
First thing you need to know about me is that I HATE camp. Not just dislike camp, but purely and truly despise it. So much that I was tempted at testimony meeting to stand up, say "I hate camp. I know the Church is true, but I hate camp.", and sit back down. But because I didn't really want to have the visit to the Bishop's office that would come after that, i stood up and bore my real testimony. And cried like a baby.
This year was the best year at camp I have ever had, probably because I was a ward YCL (Youth Camp Leader). Last year, when I was a stake YCL, certain things happened and I ended up pulling out and not going to camp. Needless to say I was a little apprehensive about how this year was going to go down.
I think that most amazing thing about camp was the spiritual outpouring from the YCL's. These amazing girls (Jessica Perl, Kayla Madsen, Betty Evans, Dannika McBride, and Becca Smith) all worked so hard to pull an absolutely astonishing camp together. The Spirit was there for every single moment of camp, something I don't think that I have ever felt before.
Heavenly Father sent me to camp this year to learn two lessons. One, was that sometimes it can't be all about me. Sometimes I need to put who I am and what I feel aside to do something for someone else. That was really hard. I spent months of camp praying that I would be able to make it through, and that I would be able to survive camp. About a week and a half before camp, I realized that I was praying for the wrong thing. No amount of prayer was going to change my personal attitude toward camp. The only thing that I could do was pray for the other girls to have a good experience. That changed me. I began praying even more fervently than I had prayed for myself, because I knew camp wasn't all about me. I knew that I could make this a good experience for someone else, and that mattered more than being able to survive.
The second thing that Heavenly Father had to teach me, was that I don't have to do it all on my own. I can turn to him in everything that I do. So often I feel like I am carrying a heavy load, and it is all I can do to make it through one day. I realize now that I was the one that was making the load so difficult to bear, because I was not letting the Lord carry it with me. He knows EVERYTHING that I have been through, and he cares so much. He wants to be able to help me. There is no possible way that I can make it all by myself, and I am so very grateful that I don't have to. He waits with outstretched arms, begging me to let him in. I think I can do that now.
Girl's Camp always helps me realize how much of a testimony I really have, and how I want to share it with the whole world. I have a testimony of this Gospel. I know it with every fiber in my being. I want to shout it from the top of the world. I want to whisper it to each of you personally. My most fervent wish is that you could all feel this, that you could all feel the light that I feel now.
First thing you need to know about me is that I HATE camp. Not just dislike camp, but purely and truly despise it. So much that I was tempted at testimony meeting to stand up, say "I hate camp. I know the Church is true, but I hate camp.", and sit back down. But because I didn't really want to have the visit to the Bishop's office that would come after that, i stood up and bore my real testimony. And cried like a baby.
This year was the best year at camp I have ever had, probably because I was a ward YCL (Youth Camp Leader). Last year, when I was a stake YCL, certain things happened and I ended up pulling out and not going to camp. Needless to say I was a little apprehensive about how this year was going to go down.
I think that most amazing thing about camp was the spiritual outpouring from the YCL's. These amazing girls (Jessica Perl, Kayla Madsen, Betty Evans, Dannika McBride, and Becca Smith) all worked so hard to pull an absolutely astonishing camp together. The Spirit was there for every single moment of camp, something I don't think that I have ever felt before.
Heavenly Father sent me to camp this year to learn two lessons. One, was that sometimes it can't be all about me. Sometimes I need to put who I am and what I feel aside to do something for someone else. That was really hard. I spent months of camp praying that I would be able to make it through, and that I would be able to survive camp. About a week and a half before camp, I realized that I was praying for the wrong thing. No amount of prayer was going to change my personal attitude toward camp. The only thing that I could do was pray for the other girls to have a good experience. That changed me. I began praying even more fervently than I had prayed for myself, because I knew camp wasn't all about me. I knew that I could make this a good experience for someone else, and that mattered more than being able to survive.
The second thing that Heavenly Father had to teach me, was that I don't have to do it all on my own. I can turn to him in everything that I do. So often I feel like I am carrying a heavy load, and it is all I can do to make it through one day. I realize now that I was the one that was making the load so difficult to bear, because I was not letting the Lord carry it with me. He knows EVERYTHING that I have been through, and he cares so much. He wants to be able to help me. There is no possible way that I can make it all by myself, and I am so very grateful that I don't have to. He waits with outstretched arms, begging me to let him in. I think I can do that now.
Girl's Camp always helps me realize how much of a testimony I really have, and how I want to share it with the whole world. I have a testimony of this Gospel. I know it with every fiber in my being. I want to shout it from the top of the world. I want to whisper it to each of you personally. My most fervent wish is that you could all feel this, that you could all feel the light that I feel now.
You can.
But as much as I would like to try, I can't do it for you. John 7:17 says "If any man will do his will, then he will know the doctrine, whether it be of God or whether I speak of myself." The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the one true church upon the earth. Take the time to try. Read your scriptures, and say your prayers. Go to seminary and church. Seek earnestly the kingdom of God and you will find it. The Lord can not speak to you if you are in places that He is not, but I testify that he will touch you if you go to places where he is.
Guess what? I still hate camp. But I love the Spirit that is there, and I love the Gospel, so I go. I probably won't ever go to camp MIA Shalom again, which makes me sad because it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I just hope to be able to preserve a portion of the Spirit that I have accepted there.
Allons-y!
Guess what? I still hate camp. But I love the Spirit that is there, and I love the Gospel, so I go. I probably won't ever go to camp MIA Shalom again, which makes me sad because it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I just hope to be able to preserve a portion of the Spirit that I have accepted there.
Allons-y!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
"I hold nothing above my chicken."
I love this video so much. This is for all of you out that who love chicken, because really, who doesn't?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcOWmjSBlg
Allons-y!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcOWmjSBlg
Allons-y!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The wish to be porcine
I want to be like Olivia. And don't worry, she's probably not someone you know.
This is my Olivia.
True, she may just be the main character of a series of picture books, but she is absolutely one of my heros.
She has a very defined sense of style.
She understands what it is like to have a younger brother.
She is determined about things she cares about...
...dances like no one is watching...
...eats as many gelatos as she wants...
... and leads the way, no matter who is following.
But I think that my favorite thing about Olivia is that positively, undoubtedly, 100 percent, tried and true, through and through, big and blue, she is herself.
Whether that is for better or worse.
Allons-y!
P.S. click to make the pictures bigger. Some of the fine print is very funny.
This is my Olivia.
True, she may just be the main character of a series of picture books, but she is absolutely one of my heros.
She has a very defined sense of style.
She understands what it is like to have a younger brother.
She is determined about things she cares about...
...dances like no one is watching...
...eats as many gelatos as she wants...
...tells stories the way she likes them...
...speaks her mind about everything and anything...... and leads the way, no matter who is following.
But I think that my favorite thing about Olivia is that positively, undoubtedly, 100 percent, tried and true, through and through, big and blue, she is herself.
Whether that is for better or worse.
Allons-y!
P.S. click to make the pictures bigger. Some of the fine print is very funny.
Monday, July 11, 2011
You know you are a mature 17 year old when...
... Your grandma gives you a kiss (invading your personal space) and you begin to cry.
Allons-y!
Allons-y!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Thoughts for the Fourth
All day I enjoyed the fact that two very patriotic songs have the same tune. The people around me thought that I was humming My Country Tis of Thee while in actuality I was humming God save our Queen.
Ah, the secret amusements of life.
Allons-y!
Ah, the secret amusements of life.
Allons-y!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
A blueberry of my own...
I would like to dedicate this post today to my dream car. This car is beautiful, semi affordable, gets good gas mileage, has decent handling, small, and just plain practical.
I give you, the Fiat 500.
Some of you may be saying that you have never heard of the Fiat 500, which does not surprise me in the least. It is a European brand, and has just recently come to Salt Lake city. Sadly, there are only new ones for sale, which means that they are hopelessly out of my price range. But they are just so CUTE!!!
If I were to get one, it would definitely be in blue. (If you don't get the post title, please go watch yourself some Psych)
It even has a lovely interior.
Oh well. "The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary." - Ashleigh Brilliant
P.S. If I didn't get a Fiat 500, I would TOTALLY get this car.
Allons-y!
I give you, the Fiat 500.
Some of you may be saying that you have never heard of the Fiat 500, which does not surprise me in the least. It is a European brand, and has just recently come to Salt Lake city. Sadly, there are only new ones for sale, which means that they are hopelessly out of my price range. But they are just so CUTE!!!
If I were to get one, it would definitely be in blue. (If you don't get the post title, please go watch yourself some Psych)
It even has a lovely interior.Oh well. "The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary." - Ashleigh Brilliant
P.S. If I didn't get a Fiat 500, I would TOTALLY get this car.
Allons-y!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Superwoman
Lately, I have been very interested in fairy tales and legends, especially from the Middle East. I love fairy tales, because the guy always ends up with the girl, and you know that they really will live happily ever after.
My favorite tales have always been the ones that promote women. It probably stems from the fact that I am a woman and I like to see my gender win. In my reading, I have been surprised at how many of the stories from the Middle East deal with strong women. I mean, I thought that in a society that appears to oppress women, they wouldn't have very many 'women power' stories.
Not so. There is the story of Shahrazad, the woman who told tales to a heartless king for one thousand and one nights, not only prolonging the date of her execution, but also causing the king to fall in love with her and become extraordinarily happy. There is Queen Buran (or Burandokht but who can really say that?) who ruled Persia after her father's death. And there are others.
I guess what makes these really amazing to me is that they come from such a strict society. It still is a struggle for women over there to learn to read and write, but yet they have told stories of amazing women for generations.
They go through so much. They inspire me to become better.
Allons-y!
My favorite tales have always been the ones that promote women. It probably stems from the fact that I am a woman and I like to see my gender win. In my reading, I have been surprised at how many of the stories from the Middle East deal with strong women. I mean, I thought that in a society that appears to oppress women, they wouldn't have very many 'women power' stories.
Not so. There is the story of Shahrazad, the woman who told tales to a heartless king for one thousand and one nights, not only prolonging the date of her execution, but also causing the king to fall in love with her and become extraordinarily happy. There is Queen Buran (or Burandokht but who can really say that?) who ruled Persia after her father's death. And there are others.
I guess what makes these really amazing to me is that they come from such a strict society. It still is a struggle for women over there to learn to read and write, but yet they have told stories of amazing women for generations.
They go through so much. They inspire me to become better.
Allons-y!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Twestion
So I have decided that I am going to start writing some more. I'm thinking of posting the pieces that I write here, so that you lovely people can read them. What sayest thou? Yay or nay?
Allons-y!
Allons-y!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Played hymns for hours today and found...
that I probably should have taken piano lessons at some point, if I wanted to be a serious piano player. I mean, I'm a fine player and all, but being self taught means that I have a total of zero technique. Like ZERO! I do my scales wrong, I cross my fingers and do a variety of other atrocities that would make piano teachers scream in horror.
Guess it is just another way that I am different :D
Allons-y!
Guess it is just another way that I am different :D
Allons-y!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
You may have noticed...
To those of you out there who are extremely observant, you may have noticed that I have recently changed the settings on my blog. In the background, there is a picture of London. Being my newest obsession, London is now the most beautiful city in the world, and the object of many of my dreams. I would tell you why, but it is altogether too late for me to be posting anyway.
Allons-y!
P.S. Oh, and I bought a 30 dollar London poster today for 3 bucks. Score!
Allons-y!
P.S. Oh, and I bought a 30 dollar London poster today for 3 bucks. Score!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Wow.... Slackerface
I have recently realized that perhaps I have not been exactly diligent in posting on this blog. BUT this will change! I have now redesigned my blog (If you hadn't noticed, look around you. Things look different. In the most awesome sense.) and because of this I am now feeling more motivated to post weekly! "How long will this last?" you may ask. My reply to you: "I dunno."
Anyway, today I watched the Emma Smith movie for the first time. For those of you who haven't seen it, I encourage you to. It really was a life changing experience. To see a woman who has been through so much and stayed so strong in the gospel is amazing to me. I'll admit that I cried at least a little bit. Tell me if you haven't seen it, and we will watch it together.
My favorite part of the movie was at the very end. While laying on her deathbed, Emma spoke these final words: "Joseph... Joseph... I'm coming."
Beautiful.
Allons-y!
Anyway, today I watched the Emma Smith movie for the first time. For those of you who haven't seen it, I encourage you to. It really was a life changing experience. To see a woman who has been through so much and stayed so strong in the gospel is amazing to me. I'll admit that I cried at least a little bit. Tell me if you haven't seen it, and we will watch it together.
My favorite part of the movie was at the very end. While laying on her deathbed, Emma spoke these final words: "Joseph... Joseph... I'm coming."
Beautiful.
Allons-y!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Full of Sound and Fury
Okay, because I was reminded of this by reading a dear friends blog (Thanks Kaitlin!), I would like to post today about one of my favorite Shakespeare quotes. Actually, it really relates to my feelings today.
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28
If you want, you can follow the link to get a short summary of the play up to this point, and what the literal meaning of the words are. But I'd like to go a little deeper and relate this to high school life. (Shocker, I know, but not impossible.)
The first time I heard this was in my 10th grade English class. I only liked Shakespeare back then, and didn't appreciate the full meaning of the words. It was just something we had to memorize for an assignment.
Then I watched the play Macbeth, starring Sir Patrick Stewart. (Professor Xavier and Captain Jean-Luc Pickard for those who don't know him by name). This was a very good version of the play, if not the best. Patrick Stewart completely blew me away in his epic performance of the tortured king, bringing both depth and ruthlessness to a complex character. This version was not for the faint of heart, showing plenty of blood and murder.
When it finished, there was a short section afterwords, where Patrick Stewart was being interviewed by a young lady. She asked him what he had done to prepare for the 'Tomorrow' speech, because it is such a widely preformed speech. He said that he had gone to talk to his friend Ian McKellen (Gandalf, Magneto), who had also played the part of Macbeth in the past. Patrick Stewart said that Ian McKellen told him something that he had never heard before, but that instantly made sense.
He said that the important part of the speech, was the word 'and'.
Think about it for a second. Say it out loud, to yourself. "Tomorrow AND Tomorrow AND Tomorrow." Something about emphasizing such a small word, marks the relentless passage of time. Tomorrow will always come, and there will be a tomorrow after that, and a tomorrow after that one...
If we look at life as a set of tomorrow's, there truly is nothing good in the world. Life signifies nothing when we focus on the tomorrow's. I know that as high school students, it's so easy to fall into the pattern of tomorrow's. Tomorrow a paper is due in English, Psychology reading is due on Tuesday. Many of the people I know tell me their weeks based on what they have due that day. I do it all the time.
"Out, Out brief candle!" Is that all we want from our lives? To turn in what is due, and then leave the stage? To me, this quote suggests that there is so much more to life. That if we focus on tomorrow, life will strut and fret, and then pass us by when we do not notice it. Signifying nothing.
Life is so much more than that.
The first time I heard this was in my 10th grade English class. I only liked Shakespeare back then, and didn't appreciate the full meaning of the words. It was just something we had to memorize for an assignment.
Then I watched the play Macbeth, starring Sir Patrick Stewart. (Professor Xavier and Captain Jean-Luc Pickard for those who don't know him by name). This was a very good version of the play, if not the best. Patrick Stewart completely blew me away in his epic performance of the tortured king, bringing both depth and ruthlessness to a complex character. This version was not for the faint of heart, showing plenty of blood and murder.
When it finished, there was a short section afterwords, where Patrick Stewart was being interviewed by a young lady. She asked him what he had done to prepare for the 'Tomorrow' speech, because it is such a widely preformed speech. He said that he had gone to talk to his friend Ian McKellen (Gandalf, Magneto), who had also played the part of Macbeth in the past. Patrick Stewart said that Ian McKellen told him something that he had never heard before, but that instantly made sense.
He said that the important part of the speech, was the word 'and'.
Think about it for a second. Say it out loud, to yourself. "Tomorrow AND Tomorrow AND Tomorrow." Something about emphasizing such a small word, marks the relentless passage of time. Tomorrow will always come, and there will be a tomorrow after that, and a tomorrow after that one...
If we look at life as a set of tomorrow's, there truly is nothing good in the world. Life signifies nothing when we focus on the tomorrow's. I know that as high school students, it's so easy to fall into the pattern of tomorrow's. Tomorrow a paper is due in English, Psychology reading is due on Tuesday. Many of the people I know tell me their weeks based on what they have due that day. I do it all the time.
"Out, Out brief candle!" Is that all we want from our lives? To turn in what is due, and then leave the stage? To me, this quote suggests that there is so much more to life. That if we focus on tomorrow, life will strut and fret, and then pass us by when we do not notice it. Signifying nothing.
Life is so much more than that.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Wishing for Worse
I wish I was a boat.
Not literally. I actually enjoy being a person, with a family, living my life day in and day out. But on the inside, I would like to be a boat.
A boat feels no pain. She doesn't feel the icy wind as it thrashes through her tender sails. She does not feel the knife-like rocks stabbed into her belly, nor the grasping intrusion of the barnacles on her hull.
I wish I was strong like that.
A boat is kind. Stepping on a boat is the first leap in an adventure. She takes people on their adventures, watching, waiting, hoping, praying, for her turn. But she must wait for her moment.
I wish I was patient like that.
A boat is dependable. You tie her up and she stays. You turn her left, and she readily obeys. She'll sail where you show her to and bring you back. She is not afraid to trust you.
I wish I was sane like that.
But yet, I am a boat.
Steady breath goes in and out
Like waves against a hull
Nimble fingers to reach and hold
Like the ropes that save lives
Meaningful words about to be spoken
Like full sails are blown into action
I laugh at the boat.
I sorrow for her.
For I have something
she can never achieve.
I have a soul.
A soul. A soul that can laugh, dance, cry, love, hate, sing, run, smile, write, play, hope, dream, pray, sleep, hurt, crack, bleed, flail, want, need, choose, learn, scream, sigh, help, catch, know. A soul can do, while a boat can not. A soul can live, while a boat can not.
Oh, and I can fly. Take that boat!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Musings
Hmm... What can I say about today?
How 'bout seminary is amazing?
I mean seriously, seminary is pretty much the most amazing experience of my life. Every time i go there, I seem to find a new level of happiness.
That's the end of my blog today. Go to seminary. It's totally worth it.
How 'bout seminary is amazing?
I mean seriously, seminary is pretty much the most amazing experience of my life. Every time i go there, I seem to find a new level of happiness.
That's the end of my blog today. Go to seminary. It's totally worth it.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I feel like I am standing of the top of a cliff. The Cliff of Insanity.
I curl my toes, and I can feel the edge crumble beneath them. I am so close now. So close to slipping. Slipping and falling down
down
down
Past the realms of reality.
I don't want to focus on what is on the top of the cliff. I don't want to deal with that harsh reality any longer. I don't want to focus on what is at the bottom of the cliff. I don't want to think about the consequences.
I don't want to fall. I want to jump.
I want to jump, and fly through the air, not worried about past or future. Not wondering where my life would go. Just falling.
I don't want to die. I know there is life on the other side, and I'd be in BIG trouble if I showed up unexpectedly. I don't want a break. Breaks are only the extension of the stress.
I want to go insane. Shut down. Refuse to function.
And somedays I am just so close....
I curl my toes, and I can feel the edge crumble beneath them. I am so close now. So close to slipping. Slipping and falling down
down
down
Past the realms of reality.
I don't want to focus on what is on the top of the cliff. I don't want to deal with that harsh reality any longer. I don't want to focus on what is at the bottom of the cliff. I don't want to think about the consequences.
I don't want to fall. I want to jump.
I want to jump, and fly through the air, not worried about past or future. Not wondering where my life would go. Just falling.
I don't want to die. I know there is life on the other side, and I'd be in BIG trouble if I showed up unexpectedly. I don't want a break. Breaks are only the extension of the stress.
I want to go insane. Shut down. Refuse to function.
And somedays I am just so close....
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Help?
Okay, so I've got this friend. She's not a member of the Church, but she has lived here a long time so she knows a lot about Mormons. I've been trying to think of a way to approach the topic of the Gospel with her, but she just doesn't seem open to it.
She went to Seminary for a couple of years, and has dated some Mormon guys. She says she has read the Book of Mormon twice, but she just doesn't like it very well. I'm kind of at a loos of what to do. I think that the gospel could really make her life a lot better, and could help her through the difficult times she is going through right now, but I don't know how to approach the topic with her, in a way that she won't think I'm preaching.
Do you guys have any ideas? I know we live in Happy Valley, so there aren't a lot of opportunities like this. The end of the Semester is coming quickly, and I don't know if I will have a class with her after this. I would really like to help this girl, but I don't know how.
On a similar thought, can you imagine your lives without the gospel? With out knowing the truths of eternity? That would be so dark. So hopeless. Without the love of my Savior in my life, I couldn't last a day. I don't want this girl to have to do it by herself anymore. Because no one should have to do it alone.
She went to Seminary for a couple of years, and has dated some Mormon guys. She says she has read the Book of Mormon twice, but she just doesn't like it very well. I'm kind of at a loos of what to do. I think that the gospel could really make her life a lot better, and could help her through the difficult times she is going through right now, but I don't know how to approach the topic with her, in a way that she won't think I'm preaching.
Do you guys have any ideas? I know we live in Happy Valley, so there aren't a lot of opportunities like this. The end of the Semester is coming quickly, and I don't know if I will have a class with her after this. I would really like to help this girl, but I don't know how.
On a similar thought, can you imagine your lives without the gospel? With out knowing the truths of eternity? That would be so dark. So hopeless. Without the love of my Savior in my life, I couldn't last a day. I don't want this girl to have to do it by herself anymore. Because no one should have to do it alone.
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