I feel like I am standing of the top of a cliff. The Cliff of Insanity.

I curl my toes, and I can feel the edge crumble beneath them. I am so close now. So close to slipping. Slipping and falling down
down
down

Past the realms of reality.

I don't want to focus on what is on the top of the cliff. I don't want to deal with that harsh reality any longer. I don't want to focus on what is at the bottom of the cliff. I don't want to think about the consequences.

I don't want to fall. I want to jump.

I want to jump, and fly through the air, not worried about past or future. Not wondering where my life would go. Just falling.

I don't want to die. I know there is life on the other side, and I'd be in BIG trouble if I showed up unexpectedly. I don't want a break. Breaks are only the extension of the stress.

I want to go insane. Shut down. Refuse to function.

And somedays I am just so close....