Sorry that nothing has been posted this week, but I was at Girl's Camp. And against my best efforts, I had a good time.
First thing you need to know about me is that I HATE camp. Not just dislike camp, but purely and truly despise it. So much that I was tempted at testimony meeting to stand up, say "I hate camp. I know the Church is true, but I hate camp.", and sit back down. But because I didn't really want to have the visit to the Bishop's office that would come after that, i stood up and bore my real testimony. And cried like a baby.
This year was the best year at camp I have ever had, probably because I was a ward
YCL (Youth Camp Leader). Last year, when I was a stake
YCL, certain things happened and I ended up pulling out and not going to camp. Needless to say I was a little apprehensive about how this year was going to go down.
I think that most amazing thing about camp was the spiritual outpouring from the
YCL's. These amazing girls (Jessica Perl, Kayla
Madsen, Betty Evans,
Dannika McBride, and Becca Smith) all worked so hard to pull an absolutely astonishing camp together. The Spirit was there for every single moment of camp, something I don't think that I have ever felt before.
Heavenly Father sent me to camp this year to learn two lessons. One, was that sometimes it can't be all about me. Sometimes I need to put who I am and what I feel aside to do something for someone else. That was really hard. I spent months of camp praying that I would be able to make it through, and that I would be able to survive camp. About a week and a half before camp, I realized that I was praying for the wrong thing. No amount of prayer was going to change my personal attitude toward camp. The only thing that I could do was pray for the other girls to have a good experience. That changed me. I began praying even more fervently than I had prayed for myself, because I knew camp wasn't all about me. I knew that I could make this a good experience for someone else, and that mattered more than being able to survive.
The second thing that Heavenly Father had to teach me, was that I don't have to do it all on my own. I can turn to him in everything that I do. So often I feel like I am carrying a heavy load, and it is all I can do to make it through one day. I realize now that I was the one that was making the load so difficult to bear, because I was not letting the Lord carry it with me. He knows EVERYTHING that I have been through, and he cares so much. He wants to be able to help me. There is no possible way that I can make it all by myself, and I am so very grateful that I don't have to. He waits with outstretched arms, begging me to let him in. I think I can do that now.
Girl's Camp always helps me realize how much of a testimony I really have, and how I want to share it with the whole world. I have a testimony of this Gospel. I know it with every fiber in my being. I want to shout it from the top of the world. I want to whisper it to each of you personally. My most fervent wish is that you could all feel this, that you could all feel the light that I feel now.
You can.
But as much as I would like to try, I can't do it for you. John 7:17 says "If any man will do his will, then he will know the doctrine, whether it be of God or whether I speak of myself." The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the one true church upon the earth. Take the time to try. Read your scriptures, and say your prayers. Go to seminary and church. Seek earnestly the kingdom of God and you will find it. The Lord can not speak to you if you are in places that He is not, but I testify that he will touch you if you go to places where he is.
Guess what? I still hate camp. But I love the Spirit that is there, and I love the Gospel, so I go. I probably won't ever go to camp MIA Shalom again, which makes me sad because it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I just hope to be able to preserve a portion of the Spirit that I have accepted there.
Allons-y!
