And now, the Worst Week of my Entire Existence

This week, my life fell apart almost completely. Everything fell to bits. So here I am, writing you to tell you about the worst week of my life. (And not to complain and whine about it. I promise there is a purpose behind writing all of this.)

Firstly, I had to say goodbye to a fantastic friend of mine. He was going into the MTC, which makes it a happy thing, but I will not see him for two years, which makes it a sad thing. He is one of my closest guy friends, and I am going to miss him like crazy. It was a hard way to start the week.

BUT THEN

While on my way to teach mutual in my home ward this past Wednesday, I was not paying enough attention and rear ended the van in front of me. Both of my air bags exploded, providing me with some very colorful scrapes, bruises, and burns, but the other driver and I were otherwise unharmed. Alonso, on the other hand, did not come out alive. With both airbags exploding and damage to his front, it’s extremely unlikely the insurance company will choose to save him. In just a couple moments, the car that I adore was undriveable.

BUT THEN

came the terribly awkward date. I’ll spare you the itty-bitty details, but it was probably the most awkward date I have ever been on. You know there is something wrong with a guy when he is 28 years old and still has over a year until he finishes his undergrad degree. Not the best way to make a first impression.

BUT THEN

On Saturday, I thought that my week couldn’t get any worse. I decided to jam out to some music while getting ready for Kaitlin to come over and try to cheer me up. My phone was resting on the speaker, but soon, I heard a strange clatter and my music shut off. Thinking my speaker was being finicky, I looked to find my iPhone had jumped off of the sink and landed in the open toilet. I had to fish it out, while trying not to swear. I believe I succeeded in the not swearing, which is considered a massive victory of self-control on my part.

So, as of this moment, my phone is buried in rice, my car is awaiting a death sentence in a tow yard, and my dating life is a big vast toxic wasteland of nothing.

I am so blessed.

And I seriously mean that. Because every time I have gotten a challenge this week, Heavenly Father has also given me exactly what I need to deal with it. Miraculously, Puff was driving by right as I had my accident, and she was able to sit with me and calm me down while I filled out my paperwork. My date may have been painfully awkward, but laughing about it with my roommates brought us closer than we have ever been. As for my phone… Well, I’m still looking for the good in that one, but I haven’t been nearly as upset about it as I could have been. I realize that things are just things and who I am is way more important than what I have.

My Heavenly Father loves me, and He has been watching out for me every second of this week. He knows that everything this week has not been easy, and I’m hoping that means He is planning to give me an easier time next week. But if not, He will give me the tools to deal with it.

Everyone gets challenges in their life. Challenges that are specific to them and to their needs. But everyone also gets talents. Talents that are specific to them and to their challenges. Everything you go through, Heavenly Father has given you what you need to get through that. I don’t know if you needed to hear that, but I know that Heavenly Father has a very special mission planned for you. Your challenges and your victories are all set before you, and Heavenly Father with help you through every single one of them.

You are EXACTLY when Heavenly Father wants you to be. He knows EXACTLY where you are and will work out EXACTLY the plan to get you where you need to be. He knows everything, from the biggest disasters to the smallest details. He's got you covered.

So I don't know about you, but I'm going to look back on this past week and smile. Because Heavenly Father has got something great coming for me.

TT#4: This is the Christ

I know that Christ is my Savior. I know He cares for my every need. He feels all my pain and He will always be there to comfort me. I know that when I need Him, He will never forsake me. He would have died for me and only me.

He is my Redeemer and my King.

Allons-y!

Heaven on Earth

Sorry that nothing has been posted this week, but I was at Girl's Camp. And against my best efforts, I had a good time.

First thing you need to know about me is that I HATE camp. Not just dislike camp, but purely and truly despise it. So much that I was tempted at testimony meeting to stand up, say "I hate camp. I know the Church is true, but I hate camp.", and sit back down. But because I didn't really want to have the visit to the Bishop's office that would come after that, i stood up and bore my real testimony. And cried like a baby.

This year was the best year at camp I have ever had, probably because I was a ward YCL (Youth Camp Leader). Last year, when I was a stake YCL, certain things happened and I ended up pulling out and not going to camp. Needless to say I was a little apprehensive about how this year was going to go down.

I think that most amazing thing about camp was the spiritual outpouring from the YCL's. These amazing girls (Jessica Perl, Kayla Madsen, Betty Evans, Dannika McBride, and Becca Smith) all worked so hard to pull an absolutely astonishing camp together. The Spirit was there for every single moment of camp, something I don't think that I have ever felt before.

Heavenly Father sent me to camp this year to learn two lessons. One, was that sometimes it can't be all about me. Sometimes I need to put who I am and what I feel aside to do something for someone else. That was really hard. I spent months of camp praying that I would be able to make it through, and that I would be able to survive camp. About a week and a half before camp, I realized that I was praying for the wrong thing. No amount of prayer was going to change my personal attitude toward camp. The only thing that I could do was pray for the other girls to have a good experience. That changed me. I began praying even more fervently than I had prayed for myself, because I knew camp wasn't all about me. I knew that I could make this a good experience for someone else, and that mattered more than being able to survive.

The second thing that Heavenly Father had to teach me, was that I don't have to do it all on my own. I can turn to him in everything that I do. So often I feel like I am carrying a heavy load, and it is all I can do to make it through one day. I realize now that I was the one that was making the load so difficult to bear, because I was not letting the Lord carry it with me. He knows EVERYTHING that I have been through, and he cares so much. He wants to be able to help me. There is no possible way that I can make it all by myself, and I am so very grateful that I don't have to. He waits with outstretched arms, begging me to let him in. I think I can do that now.

Girl's Camp always helps me realize how much of a testimony I really have, and how I want to share it with the whole world. I have a testimony of this Gospel. I know it with every fiber in my being. I want to shout it from the top of the world. I want to whisper it to each of you personally. My most fervent wish is that you could all feel this, that you could all feel the light that I feel now.

You can.

But as much as I would like to try, I can't do it for you. John 7:17 says "If any man will do his will, then he will know the doctrine, whether it be of God or whether I speak of myself." The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the one true church upon the earth. Take the time to try. Read your scriptures, and say your prayers. Go to seminary and church. Seek earnestly the kingdom of God and you will find it. The Lord can not speak to you if you are in places that He is not, but I testify that he will touch you if you go to places where he is.

Guess what? I still hate camp. But I love the Spirit that is there, and I love the Gospel, so I go. I probably won't ever go to camp MIA Shalom again, which makes me sad because it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I just hope to be able to preserve a portion of the Spirit that I have accepted there.

Allons-y!